Please! Give me some advice on my writing! I could use it! ^.^
(Also, I didn't see a literature place so I'm just posting this here.)

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This is a Naruto Fanfiction.
Here we go but possible trigger Warnings first!!
Alcohol (Not alcohol abuse though and I don't go into much detail.)
Homosexual couple/crush mentioned. (Just kinda mentioned)
Without further delay-

Jiraiya x Orochimaru Modern AU


Orochimaru lived in a fairly large apartment now that he had graduated from college with a degree in 2D animation. Orochimaru had always had a keen eye for art, though he would have never known his talent if not for an old friend. And making his artwork move and come to life was even better! But of course, he was only applying for a job as of late. And so, Orochimaru was forced to find something else to earn money while he waited to see if he was accepted. So, he worked at a small reptile pet store near his house. His fondness for reptiles-snakes especially- was met and it put food on the table so.. He was happy.

But Orochimaru really wasn't... A hole had been burrowing through him for months, no- years now. He had fallen in love with his best friend.. Who he was most definitely sure Jiraiya was straight. And so, he had been avoiding him, and most of his own friends. He was terrified of telling him. He had a feeling that it would end badly.

Would he really tell him and risk losing his really, only friend? Was he that selfish?
Yes. He certainly was.
When Orochimaru got a call from Jiraiya his heart immediately sank talking to him.. But then a spark of hope came back when Jiraiya wanted to meet up. This was his chance. But.. If Jiraiya turned him down... Then what? Without Jiraiya Orochimaru felt like nothing.

When the snake-loving man entered the small place he went to the bar and ordered a light drink. He always had a high tolerance for alcohol but that didn't mean he liked to drink. He paid no interest to any of the girls looking at him with lust filled eyes. One tried to approach him even, but Orochimaru dodged out of her way, wanting to find Jiraiya.

Orochimaru spotted him sitting in the back and a small smile spread across his pale toned face. The male approached and his eyes seemed to brighten. "Hello." He said softly. His voice was like silk, like always and his long black hair was still well- long, like it had always been. He didn't change much appearance wise though he gotten exceptionally taller.

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More writing to come!